Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Well we did it. After 12 days of stimming I had my retrieval. Things went very well this time. I responded to the meds very good. We got 13 eggs. 1 Was immature but 9 of them fertilized.That is amazing compared to last time. I'm feeling really good about it this time. The retrieval was awful this time. I am still sore but it will all be worth it in the end!! Dr shamma changed up my meds this time. I did 3 Bravelle and 3 Menopur everyday. Then Ganirelex was added because my LH began to rise, which means my body was trying to ovulate. I'm sure my E2 was well over 3000. Now I just have to wait until Sunday, Jan 16 to do the transfer. I am so EXCITED! I just feel that this is my turn!!

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Giving it another try!

I know it's been awhile since I've posted anything, but life has just been so crazy. I already stared the process for IVF. I had my dilation done last Tuesday and everything went well. Now I am just waiting to start my stimming. Dr Shamma seems really positive with everything this time. He has made some changes to my protocol. He upped the dose of Bravelle and Menopur and added Lovenox and Methypred. The changes should help with implantation. I'm really feeling positive this time around. I love the thought of having twins. Especially since this is our last chance before we move on to adoptions. I just want to be a mom more than anything. I just pray that Everyting works out the way I want it to.

Monday, October 26, 2009


Infertility is a painful and frustrating experience. It brings out the worst in me. The jealousy of people who are able to become parents so quickly and easily. My bitterness of the unfair hand I have been dealt. My insecurities that it's my body that is keeping me from my heart's desire This is a journey that is so much out of my control. Will this cycle be successful or will I be lucky the next time? It has taken over my daily life, bank account, vacation and holiday plans. It breaks my heart to watch my husband play with someone else's baby and I can't give him one of our own. I'm at my wits end. How far do I take it or should I just give up. It's alway just one more time,maybe it will work this time. All I want is a family, like everyone else I see! For the record relaxing and waiting for when it's meant to happen doesn't make a difference!!!! It's frustrating when my entire life I've been able to achieve whatever I want and the one thing that I want more than anything in the world I can't have.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

I just found out today that work is now sending me to New York the first week in August. So the rest of the summer is definitely going to fly by. I still have to discuss with my boss about scheduling the next IVF and find out what is going to work the best with all of the changes going on at work. Hopefully I can strategically schedule my vacations to accomodate the actual retrieval and transfer. I don't forsee it being too much of a problem, they seem to be pretty flexible with everything else. I'm starting to get excited and nervous at the same time. We are getting closer to the end of the road and my biggest fear is that we will no end up with a baby. I know I shouldn't worry but that is always in the back of my mind. My weight loss is going well. So far I have lost 12 pounds. Bryan and I have been trying to get exercise in every night. The other day we went for a 10 mile walk and the day after that we took a nice bike ride. I'm hoping to get the bikes out today as long as the rain holds off.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

It's been pretty crazy this summer so far. So much has happened. I finally got the promotion that I've been waiting for, so that is very exciting. I already started my training and will be done by October. That should work out great with the planning of my next IVF cycle. I just have to work around the training that is out of town and strategically plan my vacation to accommodat the transfer and retrieval.

I will be going to Orlando July 22 through July 29th. It's for work, I have to help with the bank conversion. Bryan is going to fly down with me and spend most of my time there. That will be nice. Even though I have to work it will be a little time away together, just the two of us. Then in August we will be going to Canada for Trentons hockey camp. We made this out family vacation. I have a feeling that this summer is going to fly by. But that is okay with me. I just want to get to out next cycle.

I've been working hard on trying to get in shape. I've been trying to eat low carb and low sugar. It isnt' always easy but so far I've lost 10 pounds. I'm hoping for at least 15 more before we move on with the next cycle. Amazingly the change in diet has really helped with the side effects of the met. When I eat healthy there are none, so thats great. I've been trying to walk alot and last night We took the dogs for a five mile walk- they loved it. Today I'm going to take them for another walk and try to get a bike ride in.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

It's been a while since I've added anything new here. I just been trying to focus on getting healthy for the next IVF. I went to Dr. Shamma's about 2 weeks ago for my follow up to discuss my failed cycle. He was very positive that we will be able to get pregnant. He felt that because of the way my E2 dropped after the transfer that it wasn't a problem with implantation. Basically he told me that it's a 50/50 chance with anyone that the embryos a genetically ok and that we just fell on the wrong side of the coin toss. Sometimes embryos can look perfect and just not be right and others can not look the best and result in healthy babies. So, the gameplan is to stay on BCP for a few months to let my body recover and start a new cycle at the end of August, after all of our travel plans are done. I'm really excited for August to get here. In the meantime I am exercising more and eating low carb and low sugar. Hopefully that along with adjusting my meds I'll finally get to see 2 lines when I pee on that stick. I'm also going to look into steroids, I've heard from several women that that helped them. The only thing that makes me nervous is that he is going to start me out on a higher dose, since I was a slow responder and that increases my chance of OHHS. I have faith that he knows what he is doing and I totally trust him. I'm just trying to stay positive!!

Monday, May 18, 2009


My beta was negative. I had myself prepared for a negative but what really threw me for a loop was after they drew the blood and I was ready to go I was given an envelope. I was informed it was the results about the embryos that were left over. I just took the envelope and opened it while waiting for the elevator. It stated that there were no embryos that were cryopreserved. My heart just sunk to the floor. How could this happen!! I just don't understand why all of this is happening to me. Once again I've been cheated. I am robbed of the opportunity for an FET!! I got in the car and drove to work in a daze. I still remember calling Bryan and all I could say was that life just shit on us again. I couldn't get anything else out and started to cry. I knew in my heart that it was going to be a negative beta, but I wasn't expecting the cryopreservation results. I cried when I first got to work but was able to keep my composure until the end of the day when I got the official results of a BFN. Where do I go from here? Will I ever be a mom?